contentment

We are back from our Edmonton trip, and it was such a great get-a-way! I was nervous heading up into it, as I didn’t want to rock the “Isaac-boat,” if you know what I’m sayin’. If I may continue the metaphor, he sailed beautifully. No sinking. Neither me nor him, that is. Angela had tidied up an extra room in her basement so Natty had his own little warm bedroom (which housed many a successful sleep), and Isaac was up in our room sleeping in his pack and play with us. (Thank you yet again to Ang for graciously taking the couch!) Isaac continued to sleep through the night like a star (save for a brief murmur-cry one night) and his streak since Feb 17th remains unscathed. By george, I think we’ve got it. I even hate to put it in black and white as I’m afraid I’ll jinx it somehow, but it has been TEN whole nights in a row where he’s made it through! Let’s hear it for the 5-month mark! Let’s hear it for Isaac! Let’s hear it for SLEEP! Hurray! So, in addition to sleeping and naps working out so well there, the rest of the weekend left me with a very content and satisfied feeling.


Dan was at conference for almost all the trip, but he joined us for my birthday dinner at East Side Marios—the first time we’d ever taken the boyS out to a restaurant (and with satisfying results to boot). Even Dan’s sister came to join us. Natty was in 7th heaven. He enjoyed India’s company so much and they played so well around each other. What a joy to watch. The rest of the weekend was a lot of relaxing and visiting, and we even got to go meet Baby Lucas! I just felt filled up to the brim with friendship and belonging this weekend. It was wonderful. There was a downside in that our car got broken into over night, but I am amazingly calm about it all. They only stole our CDs and DVDs, and it could have been a lot worse if we had left more in the car, or if they had decided to be malicious and damage anything. I don’t quite know how 2 infant seats in the back called out “we have money and great things in this car to steal” but nonetheless, that’s that. I have to call our insurance to see if it’s worth it to make a claim. Probably not, I imagine. And yet, I remain feeling content. We had to make an emergency stop to buy “Finding Nemo” DVD for our car-ride home, and this trip was in stark contrast to our last trip back from Edmonton at Christmas. Dan and I even enjoyed each other’s company and got to visit! : ) So, all in all, a very successful weekend trip, and birthday. I feel so blessed and rich to have the friends that I do. (I missed that you couldn’t come up, Shannon!) Now, both boys have been bathed, and fed, and put to bed. It’s time for a little more R&R myself. Shouldn’t take long to fall into a blissful sleep on a cool, winter’s afternoon. How lucky am I? : )

they say it's your birthday...da-da-da-duh-daaa

...well it's my birthday too! Yup. What a great way to celebrate this year--out of the regular hum-drum of the every day routines. I am at Angela and India's house and we are having such a great time of just catching up. We stayed up so late last night--my poor self isn't used to actually staying up so late, much less to carry on an intelligent conversation! To add to the wonder of my birthday weekend, the boys are napping! I don't have to be stressed out about Isaac and his routine, because he's just making it work. Thank you, thank you! : ) I don't know if we're headed out today... it's hard to co-ordinate 3 little people and their naps and rides and so forth, but it's great just to hunker down, if you will, and just enjoy adult company. I"ll have to write more later and report just how wonderful my day was. Oh, happy, cozy birthday.

supported nerd-hood continued

Thank you to all of you who responded positively about the cleaning products. I am such a nerd that upon reading all of your positive feedback, I got so excited all over again and I slipped out to the store tonight and bought some more. : ) I bought "Sweet Water Hand Soap," "Grapefruit Dish Soap," and "Eucalyptus/Mint Bathroom Wipes" (for toilet-rim, er... mishaps). Then I saw they had a website as I stood like a dork reading all the labels. http://www.methodhome.com/pad/ Go check it out. I filled out a form on the site to be an advocate. Wow. All over cleaning products. Is this what my life has become? At least it smells good.

more than nerdy.

I am going to start this entry as the geekiest person on the internet today. I just have to tell you about my new cleaning products though. They are the new method line from Shoppers Drug Mart and they are absolutely FABULOUS. Is it this possible to get so excited about cleaning products, you ask? Yes, I answer, with a resounding yes. In the world of cleaning products, I believe this is where the action is. They actually make me happy when I’m using them. Therein lies the geek. The kicker about these products is threefold: how wonderful they work, smell, and that they aren’t harmful to your skin. Usually you don’t get all these features combined! They work so well in the shower/bath. I regularly use the daily spray (a light ylang-ylang smell) and actual cleaning with the eucalyptus/mint spray is SO easy—just spray and wipe and the soap scum is gone. And, since Natty has super-sensitive skin with his eczema, the non-toxic, safe to go next to your skin feature is a well sought-after bonus. All their stuff is as “good for your health” as these products can be. As well, their smells are beautiful. Every time I spray the cucumber all-purpose spray, I smell it all over the house. They come in different scents, and more products than what I’ve pictured here (like hand soap, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent, stainless steel cleaner, etc), but I can only afford so much cleaning products. In the name of the household budget, go out and treat yourself. You won’t be disappointed. End of geek.

As for our holiday weekend, it was wonderful. I was a bit skeptical of our overnight trip to Canmore with both boys on Friday, but it turned out beautiful. Dan did an absolutely beautiful job of marrying the couple (if I do say so myself), and the room they gave us for the night—nay, not the room—the family suite complete with 2 bedrooms, and family room was kick-ass. Naps were on target the whole time, the monitor worked through the floor so I could attend the wedding sans Natty (he was napping), the food and company was great, and the views were awe inspiring. All in all, a great get-a-way! Much different than the Banff get-a-way of a few weeks ago, but I won’t look the ol’ gift-horse in the mouth. You know.

We had a great Family Day too. Took Natty to Dan’s folks and left him there for the morning and then we took Isaac with us to the IKEA $1 breakfast, and then off to Costco to stock up on some needed things. We gathered Natty and then were home for naps. My world is all about the naps. Sadly, Natty was too charged up to nap and he talked all through it (happens maybe once a month), leaving a very, very cranky boy on the other end of it. He cried and screamed over everything. Our wonderful weekend came to a crashing halt and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Luckily both he and Isaac were in bed and asleep by 7:30pm!

Now we have a couple days off before we hit the road again to head up to Edmonton for the weekend. Dan has a work seminar up there so we get to stay at Angela and India’s place. It should be so much fun! We don’t get to visit all that often due to one of us traveling and having both toddlers toddling. This time we may even get to take advantage of nap times and have an uninterrupted conversation. One can only dream. It’s going to be a tight-fitting love-in, and hopefully we don’t overstay our welcome, but I think I’m ready for the challenge. This trip is my birthday treat too. : ) 34 big ones already. Not too worried about the 34 this year. Next year’s 35 should be a tough one. But that’s a whole year away. I have two little stars to keep me young in the mean time.

Oh—and a sad note. For the first year in I don’t know how long (10+ years?) we actually OWE money for income taxes this year. It’s usually a time of great rejoicing and great returns, but I changed my tax bracket/deductions at work this past year and put Dan as a “dependant” so that we would get more money back to live on. Guess it’s come back to bite us in the ass. Sigh. It’s not a ton, but it’s still not money in our pockets. Tax time will never be the same again. Damn taxes. I think I’ll end this scattered entry and go have a snack of sorts…perhaps something chocolately. Must start the birthday celebrations early. One has to have some sort of spoiling, don’t they? Mmmm.

Hey—besides the obvious Ann-Marie Macdonald that I have suggested, Dan is in desperate need of a good book that will “kick his ass.” Any suggestions?

indulgent beaking

I fully recognize that there are worse positions to be in in life, and that I am looking at everything through ½-empty glasses and being down for the sake of being down…but I feel so down and shitty today and I can’t seem to crawl out of it.

Factors contributing to the shite?
· Dan getting two tickets this morning—illegal turn when he didn’t see the sign, and then not up to date registration on-hand… to the tune of $285
· Not getting a card or anything for Valentine’s Day
· Natty being absolutely foul—teething molars perhaps?
· Not being as compassionate with Natty as I maybe should be and feeling like a crappy mom as a result.
· The dirt around this place and the piece of crap we call our vacuum that doesn’t work with crap leading me to feel trapped in a dirty, annoying home.
· Not getting a good nap in when I feel so low and desperate for one.
· Facing what to make for dinner—yet again, and having to clean the kitchen up before I even start with that battle.

Again, I recognize that this isn’t anything that special or new or even original. The good news is Natty is down for a super-long nap giving me some free time here with just Isaac as a side-kick. He’s so much easier to work around. I think when Natty gets up we’ll have to do something fun like go out in the snow and walk across to get the mail. Maybe even bake some cookies?! That never fails to warm up a heart or two. I might take some over to a friend who just adopted a new little 8-month old yesterday (an unwanted child in her husband’s family… break your heart). Now there’s someone who can beak and complain—an 8-month old and a 1-yr old who aren’t sleeping through the night under one roof, along with the 3-yr old sister. She's just doing her part to make a life for this little guy. Yup, I have to start thinking outside my own little woes and reach out to someone else. Life is bigger than my dirty floor.

not so bad after all

As I flipped through the paper this morning, my parenting skills were affirmed. I can be hard on myself sometimes and doubt that I am doing a good job. At the expense of this poor child, it is confirmed to me, that yes, I am doing ok. Uh...thanks Britney?

Haunted

My life hasn’t been my own for the past week or so. I have been totally enslaved to the book I was reading. It dominated my life. I thought about it while I was sleeping and awake. I read it every chance I got. It haunted me, and it haunts me now that I’ve completed it. Crazy how a book can have such power to affect. If you are in search of a good book to tackle, I might recommend “The Way the Crow Flies” by Ann-Marie Macdonald. I realize it’s not even a new release, but boy is it worth it. I have now put her up there in my mind as one of my favourite authors. I feel that if my words were to be set beside hers they would be bumbling all over the page and crashing into each other like a slap-stick comedy routine, and hers would just elegantly stand by, with a cigarette dangling from her perfectly-manicured slender fingers, as she gently tsk-tsked my attempt. Silly Jodi, tricks are for kids. At any rate. Read the book if you can. Then tell me so I can talk to someone about it.

Perceptions

Isn’t it strange how we think of ourselves and how different others perceive us? I was thinking today just how “normal” I’ve been feeling lately—that I’m not as depressed or down on myself, and I got the comment that I seem so down lately. Really? Seems to me that I’ve been doing ok for once in a long time here. What do people know of us anyway? I mean, really know of us? Isn’t it so easy to let others in only so far. I fear it’s too ugly or complicated or just plain messy and they will run screaming away, or at least treat me with kid gloves. I don’t think I’m giving others the benefit then, but I’d rather err on the side of caution, I guess.

I wonder if “the church” would be as wounded by my perception of it as well. And by “the church,” I would be referring to God, as I really could not care about what most of the people in the church thought of me. I see the institution of church as a waste of time. It seems that not many people form true community there with people who share the same values as you. Community, it would seem, is actually a rarity in the church, even though that’s what the church is touted as having. Take for instance friends of ours who still go to our old church. They helped build the church 26 years ago—literally and figuratively. They have been there for everyone and through everything. Their 19 year old daughter recently got pregnant by her fiancé (of a few months). The mother felt that she had absolutely no one to turn to in the church with such a shocking and seemingly “ugly” situation. That no one would understand, not even those that claimed true friendship with her. She literally hadn’t a shoulder to cry on and she realized how absolutely alone she was and it was shocking to her. Perhaps she wasn’t giving people enough credit. But as I watch the whole situation unfold—the church refusing to marry the couple, the aloneness and disgrace of the family, I have to wonder: why be a part of this isolated, self-serving and judgmental institution? Isn’t this grieving God’s heart in such a magnificent way? What is the church’s purpose other than to run programs and count numbers? I realize I am super-cynical, but situations like this cause me to further examine what is or rather what was so important in my life. I’m not saying that this is the way it is, and that’s that. I am merely trying to find my way to what is true and worthy. I truly believe that the only thing that can fit those descriptors is God and so I guess my problem is in trying to intertwine the two when they seem so damn separate.