miracle from on high

We are back home safely. I don't think that babies are designed to be jet-setting around for a weekend, but by some miracle (which I choose to whole-heartedly believe was Grandma Amy's hand from on high), Isaac was a complete and utter star our whole trip. He had two back-to-back days of being completely pushed to his little baby limits (missing naps and being up for 6 & 7 hour stretches, when he's only used to being awake for 2 to max. 3 hours; being completely mauled and continually passed around by countless well-meaning relatives; sleeping in a strange bed; travelling on a plane!) You get the picture. But he didn't cry once the whole day of the funeral (by far the most taxing, non-napping, mauling day, and late family get-together night). He was a hit. I was so proud of him and how well he adjusted to all that was demaned of him. And he was so cathartic to every life he touched. Funerals need babies. Especially Grandma Amy's.

She was done up so beautiful and it was a very emotional time for me. Indeed, my cousin and I played our saxes for a couple numbers, and I also got up and said some special words about Grandma and my relationship during the "Words of Remembrance" section. Although my heart was grieving, it was also rejoicing with everyone as we celebrated the wonderfully full 93 years that Grandma was with us. She was one special lady who will be greatly, greatly missed.

Now we're on to new worries and anxiousness. Dan finishes his job today and is now on the "hunt" again for a job. More than a job. He really wants a career. Something he can really sink his teeth into and be satisfied. I want that so badly for him. We are waiting for anyone to give him a call-back from the 20 or so resumes that he's submitted. So far, nothing. It's a bit demoralizing to Dan, and I wish I could make it better, but nothing I say really can affect the situation. He can only hear from me so many times that I believe in him and am proud of him. He needs more than that. Keep us in your prayers on that one, if you would. I'm sure something will turn up... I know God's in control, I just hate the waiting. I'm not a patient person.

On an entirely different note, we went in to Walmart to pick up our pictures of the boys this morning! Yippee, right? Well, the curse of the photo studio continues. It "opens" at 10am, so we were there at 9:55-10:55 waiting for anyone to show up. NO one ever did. Sigh. We went back to the car and drove home empty-handed. I must say, Natty did well waiting one whole hour in a store where he couldn't go anywhere or touch anything!! I called and complained when I got home (very nicely, I might add) and they are sending me out a coupon for a free portrait package, plus two sheets to be used at any studio at a later date. I'm a bit gun-shy of the ol' Walmart studio at this point, but I'll tuck it away and save it for a rainy day. We'll get those pictures yet... : )

broken heart

I received the phone call this morning that my sweet, loving, spunky, beautiful Grandma Amy passed away. I asked my mother last night to tell Grandma one last time this morning that I loved her--I just wanted her to hear it again. Mom told her first thing and I know she heard and understood. She had the room full of family; 6 of her 7 children plus their spouses (7th on the way) and grandchildren who were dousing her with love and affection in her last moments. I would have been honoured to have been present, and feel very sad to be so far away.

I fly home with Isaac on Thursday. Dan and Natty are staying here. As much as I would love to have them there with me, grieving and honouring Grandma, I know that Natty is TWO and they probably wouldn't be around most of the service anyway. I am flying out and back with John and Paige, however, so that will provide comfort. We are staying until Monday morning and the funeral is on Friday. I am glad I get to spend some extra time back home with family, sharing memories and comfort.

My Grandma loved hearing me play my saxophone, and although I haven't touched it in over two years, I will be playing a sax duet with my cousin Mark at the funeral. I feel proud that I can (hopefully?) honour Grandma in a way that she would have so enjoyed, but when I think about the logistics of me actually playing at her funeral, I hope I can control myself enough to do so.

I am devastated that one of my most favourite people is gone. If I think too long about it, I well up and grieve my loss, but I am truly happy for her as I believe that she went home to heaven where there is no more pain for her to endure and she is united with all those whom she has loved and have gone on before her. I laughed out loud today when I idealistically and simplistically thought: if there's a baby nursery in heaven, she's already found it and is doing her most favourite activity: holding and rocking babies. And singing her made-up lullabies that always seemed to consist of only one word over and over: "Bye, bye, bye-bye...bye, bye, bye-bye...."

ah, what words will do!

I have realized this week that I am really, really enjoying Natty these days! I was in the midst of a "conversation" with him when I realized that we were actually having a conversation and it was alleviating so many of our problems! I think he must have been so close to actually getting out all the words he wanted to, but hadn't been able to, causing so much angst and consequent misbehaviour. He is honestly like a new little person in my eyes! He is speaking full sentences now and it is music to my ears to hear those little words tumbling out of his mouth as he starts defining who he is apart from me! He is so polite (for a two year old, most of the time!) and observant. He doesn't miss anything... little stinker. And he has a phenomenal memory. He actually astounds me with what he reminds me of. (My memory is definitely not on par with his these days.) The things that he comes up with make me laugh so often. The two-year old's mind is a funny, busy place. Take for instance the other morning, I went to go in the kitchen for something and he was in there and didn't want company. He searched his brain for an effective way to communicate that I wasn't wanted. Here is what came out (with a hesitant and yet expectant look): Swiper, no swiping? Swiper no swiping? I was clearly swiped. Fair and fair. I left laughing. For the most part, he is dealing so well with listening, too. Give him a choice and he's willing to go along relatively peacefully with the options. As long as there's choice involved. : ) Yes, he and I are really having a good time these days. I am enjoying him so much and he isn't pushing me like he was a while ago. phew. I am grieving having to leave it now to teach in the fall. This couldn't have happened any earlier in the year?

And Isaac turned 8 months yesterday! Unbelievable. He's becoming his own little man too. He's so flexible with whatever's going on. He is babbling and talking away so intently. And he always has so many smiles to dole out to whomever will receive them. He is ticklish all over his little body and it is so heart-warming to hear his little giggle. I wish I could record it. It's heavenly. We are back trying out cereals again. This time it's oatmeal with apples. Seems to be going a bit better too. He's just such an easy-going, dependable, loving little guy. His eyes dance when he smiles and his big cheeks crinkle up too. His whole face lights up. Boy, do I love him.

I can't believe how blessed I am to get to spend my days with TWO amazing little boys. If our computer was fixed, I could download some new pictures off our camera to show you... but alas, we need to wait for our new little computer to arrive (mac mini---YAY!!) to clear off our photos. Then you will be inundated with pictures of my favourite little people.

all in a day's work.

I'm sick as they come. Natty, Isaac and I all have a nasty cold. I feel bad for the boys as they are so little--especially Isaac, but I feel pretty bad for myself too. I feel like I've been run over by a frickin' truck and I've been mouth breathing all day. Eew. I had to will myself to do anything all day long. But here at the end of the night (8:54pm) I look back on my day and realize that I may have pushed a bit too much:

• coffee with Paige first thing
• grocery shopping
• went to Butterfield Acres (petting zoo we have passes for)
• fed boys
• tried to have a nap (unsuccessful despite my exhaustion)
• played outside with boys (how can you not when it's 26 degrees?!)
• vacuumed whole house and cleaned kitchen mess
• fed boy (Dan made dinner for us all...)
• watched a 6 Feet Under episode (my vice...) while Dan and Natty went to park
• completely changed the linens on our bed into its "springwear" line

I think I'm going to get something nice and cold to drink... feed Isaac one last time, then fall into bed. I took some of Dan's night time cold medicine last night and I was flat out within 2 minutes. I felt like I was so drunk and heavy. Here's to another medicated sleep...

just need one...

We did it. We made it in to Walmart for our retakes. The settings wasn't as great as last time--Isaac was crying and tired, Natty was sick and whinny,and our photographer was the mute sort--not very friendly. BUT, it only takes one shot. I took the very first one that she took as the "package shot" since both boys were smiling. Good move. I'm glad I didn't get caught in the moment hoping for the possibility of that better one. It spiraled very quickly out of control after that. Lots of tears from Isaac and Natty wouldn't smile--just looked really sick and tired. But I was so happy I accepted that first shot. It's all it took. Lots of cheap pictures out of that one shot.

Also--we finally bought a new digital camera this morning!! We got it on eBay--so here's hoping it all works out ok. Thank you, Mr. Klein.

Mom Jeans

I don't know if you saw the "Mom Jeans" mock commercial on Saturday Night Live a while back, but it was too funny. Embarrassingly funny. Make you look in the mirror a few extra seconds just to be sure funny. Well, in honour of upcoming Mother's Day, the Herald nicely ran an article on "Mom jeans" and how to make sure that you are on the up and up where your lower half is concerned. It made me laugh out loud, but I don't want to put the whole article in since it was rather long (albeit very entertaining). I am proud to say that I don't wear any mom jeans, and from what I know of most of you, you don't either. But here's the highlights just to be sure!

really?!

So I figure it's time that I took the boys in to Walmart to get some photos done. Can't beat $8.95 for all those pictures, and I was hoping for a good result. The following was in order:

• We were on time, nay, even early for our appointment in the city
• Clothes were clean--sans dirt and spit-up
• Boys were in good moods and co-operating
• Natty's mop of hair was looking good
• No rashes, cuts or bruises evident on either boy
• I had both of them laughing for the photographer--at the same time!

Here's what wasn't in order for the appointment:

• The camera. It wouldn't take pictures. Broken.

So, we had to pack up the party and head home without our photoshoot. We got a "free sheet" out of the deal. We'll see if we end up needing it. So disappointing, but there was no one to be disgruntled at; it's not as though the photographer planned it. I hope. Friday is our new photo day. I can only hope for the same list of what was in order today!

Grandma Amy is doing better, by the way. Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. While she does not like her new surroundings, she sounds a bit better and is moving around again. My heart is hopeful that I will get to see her next month! Hurray!