zits at 34.

Had someone told me when I was in highschool and suffering with dealing with acne that it would be sticking around, I don't think that I could have made it. I think I would have given up the fight. Just knowing that when you "grow up" your acne goes away helps one cope.

34 fricking years old and still getting "doosies." Seriously.

salve for the soul

It's Isaac's turn to shine.

or maybe the hours grow longer?

That's my newest line of thinking anyway. Nothing new on the home-front. We had another "almost offer" last week, but it didn't happen as the people left on vacation the day they were going to write it up, and they felt "too rushed" on it all and opted to see if it would still be around when they came back. Hmm. Right. But we had four showings last week, and three yesterday. Activity is picking up, but we can't buy a new house on "activity." You know. It's in the small things.

On a more exciting note, after 5 hours on the phone and 24 phone calls to secure a babysitter for last Saturday evening (no word of a lie), we went out with John and Paige for Dan's 30th birthday bash. It was amazing. We went to dinner at Joey Tomatoes, and the food and service were excellent, as were the fun drinks we all ordered, then to the movie "Little Miss Sunshine" (I don't want to over-do the recommendation, but I can't remember laughing so often and hard in a movie in a long time), then we went to the Marble Slab Ice Cream for the best ice cream I've had in a long time (a theme to the evening!). Other things that I haven't had in a long time: a night out with adults only, stimulating and funny conversation with other adults, feeling like life was "normal," great food I didn't have to cook, fanTAStic peanut-butter/skor ice cream, the feeling of not being responsible for watching over someone, the 'quiet' of an adult car-ride complete with conversation and good tunes, and then the not-so-nice feeling of watching my watch and knowing that the evening would have to come to an end sooner than I wanted it to as I had to get back to feed Isaac. But the time we had, oh, it was sweet. I have to make this note in my mind that this should not be a once-a-year treat, but rather, something we aspire to do a bit more often!

Well, I'm off to jump in the shower. Both boys are down---yes! : ) Our three showings yesterday did us in with all the running around and being out of the house (from 9-1:30, and then 4-7:15; you can't stay in a clean home with a toddler...). Isaac's sleeping was all over the map and he was all wonked out. We all need to decompress today. I'm so apathetic, I can't believe I actually got them both fed and dressed! My mind's mush, I say. Last night I was so fried I flipped between "World's Most Amazing Videos" (be sure to say that with the reverb in your mind) and "SuperNanny" and "Flip this House!" Doesn't get any more thoughtless than that! : ) Ok. Time's a tickin'. Boys will be up soon necessitating that I do mother jobs again. Must indulge while I can.

phew!

we're pre-approved by two different lenders!

thank the heavens above and on with the hunt. : )

super mom

I made it through today feeling like a super-mom. I haven't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time. I...

*didn't lose my patience once (I'm very proud of that one; I seem to be so low on patience these days.)
*listened to both of my boys laugh and laugh because of silly things I was doing or saying
*sat out on our front deck drinking coffee while playing with a satisfied, happy Natty after supper
*cooked a kick-ass dinner of steak for Natty and I and fed Isaac new finger foods (cheese and tiny, tiny grape pieces: which he LOVED and was so proud of himself!)
*swung on our swings all by myself just because I felt like it.
*kept our house clean for tomorrow's showing
*got out of the house and did errands, while keeping a fairly good hand on both boys and their desires and happiness level (i.e. no meltdowns!)
*got in quality cuddle time with both boys
*laughed at Natty's funny great little observations and jokes
*delighted in Isaac's level of interaction with me in his facial expressions, noises, and little games he plays.

I did it. I'm an ok mom. I have to tell myself that every so often, ya know? : )

"My Party"

Those were the only words that I heard said from Natty's room after he was put down for the night after his third birthday party yesterday! What a blast. He totally understood this year that this was *his* party. : ) He even started his own "Happy Birthday" song when the cake was being brought in. His excitement was contagious and I remembered, even for a little bit, how darn exciting birthdays used to be. ; ) We had many friends and family over (12 adults, 11 kids), and everyone stayed outside the whole time (except to blow out the birthday candles, due to wind), and just ran around, roasted weenies, swang, rolled, hopped, sand-boxed, ran, visited, and laughed. Good for the soul. And good to have a purpose and focus aside from housing and mortgage, if for only an evening.

Update on that front: We have to start afresh with another mortgage broker. We are going to initially try the one our real estate agent thinks will be a good bet, but we have other plan of attacks too (thank you to all who recommended someone!). Surely we won't be on the street. That's what I've resolved in my head anyway. Monday morning I will get the stuff all faxed in and hopefully it won't take long to find out where we sit... again.

So, there's no offers on homes, really, until we can see if we can be approved for one. But we're still looking as both Dan and I are sure we'll get one one way or another. Just trying out different things, that's all. Our home here still hasn't sold, but our agent told us this weekend that she is still a firm believer in the price and situation, and that it will sell. O.k. Trying hard to believe that one. She said whoever goes through has nothing but positive things to say about the place, but that doesn't really put money in the bank, does it? Hmm. Wait and wait and wait and see. : )

Dan's gone again back up to Edmonton. It really sucks seeing him drive away. It gets harder and harder each week. I'm not a fan of doing all this alone. I am gaining a new awe and respect for all single parents out there! And to fathom that they have to work on top of this. Well, simply put, I can't fathom it. But I am glad, in a way, that I am going through this, as I hope that it makes me cognizant of others around that aren't in the same situation as I am, and hopefully developing some pactical empathy to go along with it.

Well, I'm drained, so I am off to watch some mindless t.v. Oh, but first I have to pay some bills. I really know how to get a party going!

Houston, we have a problem.

I'm really trying not to panic here, but for the last 4 and 1/2 hours, I have only extrapolated to the worst possible scenerio outcomes. My mind is having great difficulty wrapping itself around the latest development, and I feel like I am somewhat detached from it all, orbiting in a zero-gravity space, looking down on it all, seeing it happening. What is it, you ask?

Our mortgage broker causually mentioned the other day to find out if Dan is on probabtion for his new job, then to call back with the answer. I did. He told me he's on 3 month probation. I called and told them this today. Their response? "Oh, well, that changes everything. I'm sorry, but no one will lend you money if he's on probation. You'll have to wait until he's done probation to try to get preapproved and buy a house." Pardon me? I called our present mortgage holder and asked her again about a new mortgage, and because, on paper, Dan isn't guaranteed more than his 32 hours/week earnings, even if we put down in excess of $150,000 on a new home for a downpayment, they still wouldn't approve us for a loan.

You have got to me frickin' kidding me. I feel like pretty woman in the fancy shops (banks) with all the money crumpled up in my hands crying "I have all this money, and no one will help me." Our credit rating is excellent--they've all said so. We have absolutely no debt, except for our present mortgage.

So why the hell are they just telling us this now? After I've quit my permanent teaching job, we've listed our house, accepted a new job, even gone so far as to put an offer in on a home (yes, hindsight is thankful that fell through!), but HONESTLY! We have changed our whole lives based on their word that, "No problem, guaranteed, if you put 25% down, and with your good credit, there's not even a question of you being approved. It's a sure thing." And they forgot to mention the whole question of probation?! Is this not their jobs? Are we supposed to know all the ins and outs to watch for before changing around our whole lives?

And the kicker? Dan realized today that he's not on probation for three months, he's on for six months. Our present mortgage holder told us to go rent a house.

I can't even comprehend that this is happening. In my mind I keep thinking, obviously there has to be a solution. This can't end like this. This isn't it. But what's the solution? Beats me. I'll have to get back to you.

boy, it's late...

So I'll be quick about it. (Plus I'm super-sick of thinking about it.) Sean got in and looked around. Indeed, it *is* a mess. It almost has to be gutted and redone. Yikes. So, we're going to put in a low-ball offer and see what happens. If they don't want to take it, we tried, and we'll move on. That's that.

On a more fun note, Natty and Isaac had their first "together bath" tonight! I was very nervous as Natty has trouble listening when he gets really excited (which he was), and when Isaac is involved. But it turned out really, really well! How fun. Here's some visuals of their time...

Sean to the rescue!

We have a great friend, Sean. He is a plumber and he has taught Dan plenty in the renovations field, and given help out the ying-yang. (Sean was one of the youth leaders at the church when Dan was there.) Sean is such a do-anything-for-you type of guy. It's so hard not to take advantage of his big heart. Here's why we are happy to know Sean yet again:

The house inspection did not come back well. Heavy sigh. There are quite a few things that need to be changed and fixed througout the house; namely, the plumbing and the outside siding. The rest are small enough, but pesky enough when added all together to form a large sum of work to be completed. Dan and I have been flip-flopping all day long as to whether we should proceed with buying the home knowing this, or to just let it go. What we need is for a plumber to go through and tell us how much it would be to fix the shoddy workmanship that is prevelant throughout the whole house. (The house inspector couldn't advise us as to cost or extent.) So, that's more money put in to getting an unkown plumber in to see the house and give us his opinion and quote. Why unkown, you ask, when Sean's our friend? Well, Sean just took a job up in Morrinville (commuting from Cochrane, away from his family for 3 weeks at a time) and so is not at our disposal any more. We are wondering if we should go in low on the offer (even lower than the already low-for-the-neighbourhood-price) in light of the plumbing and siding issues, or just walk away. Hmm. I think I might have already voiced that dilema. At any rate, Dan called and left a message for Sean on the off chance that he'd get the message and be able to give some verbal advice. Sean couldn't get ahold of Dan, but got me, painting a much more positive picture of what may need to be done, and how it could be blown out of proportion. He is waiting for Dan to call him later tonight (Dan's doing the all-important task of helping his Uncle Bill move a bed from Granny's to another Auntie's place for his little cousin... ahh, good to be around family again) and set up a time to go through the house tomorrow and actually see it and give us his opinion. We trust Sean with our house-lives. The big IFs: If Dan can pick up Sean due to two work schedules; and IF they are allowed to go in the house tomorrow. I would sleep better knowing that good ol' Sean would be giving us his professional, and friend-to-friend opinion. Isn't the knowing advice of a friend worth its weight in gold?

I shall let you know, dear friends, if, indeed, Sean and Dan make it in, and what the verdict is. Then, if we no other offers have come in at that point to compete with ours, to decide if we want to strike the condition of the house inspection and keep the same price, or to rewrite the offer a bit lower, or to just walk away. Big choices. Fear overcomes me as I worry: will we ever get a house in such a nice neighbourhood if we pass this one up? ( I know deep down the answer is yes, but it's hard to see for the trees, er, house). Are we jumping willingly into a money-pit? Where is the balance and answer?

What are your thoughts?? PLEASE voice them, regardless of if you think it matters or not. Any extra thoughts are welcome at this point. Thank you, my friends.

But more importantly.... Here's my new niece!!!

I got the extreme joy and privilege of seeing her twice. She is the most beautiful little lady that you ever did see. She's so tiny and perfect. I loved every moment I got to hold her and see her. She even had a little nap on me. It was heaven. Welcome to our family, Kassidy. There is much love for you here.

So close!!

Well, my friends, we are so close to getting our new home. We have been in Edmonton for the past 8 days, and are really glad to be home in our own space right now, except that we had to leave Dan behind, as he is now employed there! What a weird feeling leaving him behind. So Maya, Natty, Isaac and I drove home all shoved into the little Echo. Such a good car, that little Echo. Anyway. On to more important things. While we had a wonderful time in Edmonton (even more wonderful when we moved out of Uncle Bill's bachelor pad home [read: trinkets/breakables, exposed wall outlets without plates, things to DON'T TOUCH! in every square inch) and took over Karen and Dave's home for the weekend (they were away in Regina and so kindly opened their home to us!) our trip got a lot better. : ) It was clean, safe, baby/toddler proof, had a functioning nursery that Isaac took over, had the modern conviences we were accustomed to... things like that. Heaven. (I can't thank you guys enough, Karen, Dave and Lucas!!) We even got to have India and Angela over for dinner and a play outside in the sunny backyard. Ah, good friends. : ) I'm SO looking forward to these get togethers once we move up there--complete with Dave and Karen and Lucas too!

So, on with the story. We conditionally bought a house! It's not the exact perfect house we've always dreamed of, but it's the exact, perfect neighbourhood (Highlands: It's close to a really nice kiddie park with a splash pond, the library, the big public pool, Dan's work...) and street, and we'll get the house there bit by bit. We're getting pretty good at doing that. Also, it's a HUGE step up from what we're presently living in, so we also have to take that into consideration. We're pretty excited about the deed being done, especially when our realtor called back home and told us that we have an offer coming in on Tuesday after the long weekend (they would have done it Friday, but their mortgage broker didn't want to do the work going in to the long weekend, so they had to wait to see what they were pre-approved for, so they'd know what to offer us). At least, we hope they will still be wanting to put in an offer after the weekend's done! It would sure make life a bit easier. Just putting in time and packing I can handle. All this waiting and unknown is what I'm having a hard time with. I know it will all work out as it's supposed to. I know, I know...

Here's some pictures of our potentially new place: