new look.

just foolin around.

maybe it will stay the same, maybe it won't.

kind of like life.

gone.

The dreaded moment has come and gone. John, Paige and the twins are gone. Gone, gone, gone. We had a teary goodbye (which seemed to drag on the whole day) until they finally arrived at 4:30 for the final, final goodbye. My poor heart. It's bad enough for me to go through this thinking only of myself, but to know how it is going to affect Natty, with Paige being like a second-mother to him, crushes my heart into a pulpy mess.

I had to drive Natty by their house after they left as even though we just said goodbye, he asked to go to their house. The new people were there already. I'm not sure if he even got it then. It will be like someone kicking me in the stomach every time Natty asks to go to his Auntie Paige's (and it's multiple times a day). It's not that we are just family. We are best friends. How do you say goodbye to your best friends? How many times will I have to stop myself from automatically dialing her number just to chat (for the eighth time that day)? There go those damn tears again. What a draining day. Sleep will hopefully obliterate any thoughts or feelings. Until tomorrow.

37 days left to...

*spend quality time with near-by friends
*enjoy my beautiful mountain sunsets and views
*feel "settled" in my home of four years
*walk to the grocery store out my back door for "something fun" to do
*enable Granny Bubbles to enjoy play, play, playing with the boys
*get winter tires for Dan's truck (although sooner would be better)
*deliberately and methodically shop for Christmas
*pack the rest of our things in a non-harried fashion
*go to our favourite parks
*not have to worry about cooking full meals every night
*print out lists of things to do for our move without everything
being pre-marked "overdue" and feeling like I'm starting in a hole
*call my local friends as a local call
*watch whatever movies or programs I feel like
*facilitate playdates for Natty and his best buds
*enjoy receiving and reading every last bit of our small weekly newspaper
*drive by John and Paige's deserted house and remember the good times
*look out my back window at the giant Canadian flag to see the wind
patterns at any point in the day (I secretly want to be a meteorologist)
*also look out my back window to be able to check the gas price
*plan, measure, dream and order things for the new house
*be a week-day single mom
*have my evenings all to myself to do whatever I feel like
*eat all the unhealthy things I feel like without feeling guilty
*contemplate being a fully-functioning family again

my new book.

I think when all is said and done, I will publish a book entitled, "Real-Estate: How NOT to Buy and Sell." Such a wise, wise woman I will be...

The latest? And I don't begrudge you one bit, dear friends, for letting out the inward groan as you had hoped this entry might be something else OTHER than real estate matters. But I will carry on with my point... The latest is that the people we are buying our new home from have decided to stay on until what we had in writing: November 30th, despite numerous reassurances during the writing of the contract on their part that they were moving to Ontario the end of October. Shame on us for not getting that in writing. 100% our fault.

We have to be out of our place November 17th. I have gone so far as to even call our realtor and have her ask our buyer if she could or would push her move-in date to November 30th. Now that's desperation talking. ; )

In my mind I am planning a wonderful 2-week vacation for the overlap time. Money be damned. Kennel costs be damned. Storage costs be damned. But, mind you, that's just in my mind.

All that and Paige, John and the twins are moving away in two days. And both boys are sick with a nasty cold and miserable. We make a wonderful gang around here, I tell ya. Class-A1.

This too shall pass. Thirty-eight more days. The official count down is on.

****4:40pm***** A small miracle for us: our buyer agreed to put off her possession date of this place until Nov. 30th. We are not on the street. Big sigh of relief, although 5 & 1/2 more weeks of single-parenting and commuting is not our desired outcome. Guess we can't have our cake and eat it too, right? Mmmm. Cake.... Guess I'll just have to be happy with the bag of licorice all-sorts that I've bought for myself to devour this evening. Ah, depression eating at its best. : )

the colour red

I am beginning to like red more and more in life. It makes a statement. It's bold and bright. It catches people's eyes and demands their attention.

It's the colour of my new super-soft and fuzzy robe from Costco that I just bought. No good reason to buy it (other than the worn-through patches on my robe from highschool days). Just felt like a fuzzy warm treat. And it's brought me comfort and joy.

It's also the colour of Christmas, which is quickly approaching. Costco triggered that for me as well. I'm so excited about it this year because Natty finally understands and is super-excited for Christmas "to come to his house." I believe I'll be giddy with excitement this year watching Natty drink in the sights, smells, tastes, sounds, and feelings of Christmas. This is what they are talking about when they say having children lets you relive your childhood experiences!

It's the colour of Dan's truck that came rolling in the driveway tonight just after dinner: in enough time to have a little play with Isaac, and fun evening of wrestling and laughter with Natty. It's so wonderful having him home again, making our family whole. Existing in a parallel-reality to what we know day in and day out. Imagining in my mind that this will be my re-established reality in due time.

But what is the most cherished thing tonight that is the colour red? The letters on the sticker spelling out SOLD on our sign on the front lawn.

sweet things

Had a great sleep last night, and a nap this afternoon. Sweet, sweet sleep. My dear friend. : )

Had a much better day today, despite the unsettled matter of affairs. Might be because the bank appraiser finally came through our place today and was very impressed and "saw no problems." Don't know what that means appraisal amount-wise, but I'm hoping like hell that it's a good thing and this will all be done by the end of the week. But, at the same time, not letting myself hope to hard. You know. Self-preservation.

Natty's started this new thing at night where he knows it's time to be put to bed and he asks if he can cuddle. He sits ever so still in the chair with me, hugging me and burrowing his soft head into my neck, while whispering such wonderful little words, stories and observations to me, and sweetly stroking my hand or face. He has me hook, line and sinker, that boy. I'd sit there all night with him... as long as he was that sweet, quiet, loving, cuddly little boy. He seems to have the sixth sense that as soon as he gets loud or starts moving around lots, the party's over, and so he's ever so talented at keeping the activity-level just below the level of detection. ; )

And dear, sweet Isaac is treating me to many smiles, belly-laughs, squeals of delight, and his favourite words "star" and "da-da" umpteen times a day despite presently breaking through two molars and one front tooth. What did I do to deserve such wonderful little boys? I am crazy in love with them both: they are just what I need.

hello sleepless nights.

Just when I was starting to breathe again. And sleep again. I just talked to our real estate agent here, Iris, and she told me to contact our lawyer and see how we should be proceeding. What?! A lawyer, you say? I'm just as stunned as you. Let me take you back a bit...

I called Iris at 9:25am Friday morning to see about conditions being removed from our buyer. She had the paperwork sitting in front of her. All conditions were removed, the buyer's signature was there, and it had been faxed in. Done and done, I was told. Firm sale. There was rejoicing in our home. : )

1:15pm: I received a call from the buyer (yes, direct to me. She thought it'd be ok since we had talked before since this was a we-list caller). She told me how she just had an operation and couldn't get around well, how she owned her place outright and just needed an appraisal on it for the bank to forward her x-amount. That was running behind, especially since she was so sick, and could we please give her one more week to lift her conditions (i.e. get a bank appraisal). She called me directly thinking if she described her situation directly to me, I would be more likely to be lenient to her personally, rather than just a name on a sheet. I told her that there must be some mistake somewhere since her realtor had faxed in her removal of conditions sheet that morning and as far as we were concerned, we had a firm sale. And to call her realtor. She was shocked: she had signed the paper, but only because she was sick and could only get out the previous day to do it. She told her realtor to hold on to it. Her realtor didn't. There is the error. The larger-than-life error for this poor buyer. She assured me that's what she was going to do.

After many back and forth calls with my realtor, we were told we had a choice: (1) we could allow her the extra week, but that would keep it as "conditionally sold" and she could walk away at the end of the week if the appraisal didn't work the way she wanted it to, leaving us at square one. OR, (2), we could just say sorry, but it's a firm sale. By law, it was faxed in and it's a done deal.

Dan and I wavered a bit, angry that we had to make a choice and that even though it was her realtor's fault, we were the ones who were going to have to pay the price for it. Dan told me, "You know, an apology from her realtor would go a long way here. Just some humility saying they made a mistake, and can't we all work together to fix it."

At that moment the phone rang and it was Iris saying she had just got a call from the buyer's realtor saying that the buyer and us had just got off the phone and worked everything out and agreed to give her the extension, and to please send over the paperwork. This was at 3:45pm. Iris said she had no knowledge and she had to call us on it. Of course, it wasn't true and the other realtor was trying to pull a fast one. That really didn't sit well with either Dan or myself and so we said, no, keep it a firm sale. If it's got down to deception and lies, then we want no part in new dealings.

That's where it ended. Iris told them that it would remain firm. The buyer still owes her deposit, however, which was due on condition day (last Friday). She hasn't paid it and has been told by her realtor to talk to a lawyer on how to proceed. Iris told me to talk to our lawyer on how to proceed. Her realtor was angry that we wouldn't relent to a mistake being made. On one hand I feel like a giant bully saying that it's firm, and think, "it's only a week! Why make it all sour?" On the other hand, I don't want to open the possibility to us going back to square one again, and I don't want to deal with a lying realtor (hers). We have nothing to be ashamed of, we've done nothing wrong. We didn't make any errors. But it's looking like we're the ones to blame. This SUCKS!

So, I put in the call to "our lawyer" but she wasn't available at the time of the call. Hopefully she'll call back soon, as I am turning into a mess all over again. Hello?! We've bought a house here! We're moving on! Oh, my heart, my nerves. I can't hack this. I think I may have a mental breakdown before this is all over.

Ah, what angst.

and the verdict is...

We're moving to our pretty little house in Edmonton!! : ) AND, We have have a "firm sale" on our house, which is turning out to be a story in itself. By law, it's a firm, done-deal. By the agent who made a mistake on the behalf of her buyer, it's a mess. I guess we'll see come closing day if it can all be straightened out or not. I'll share the details of the whole schimaze when it's not so early... or so tension-headche inducing. Yesterday was a very, very, very long day.

But we did end the day by going out to dinner, movie (Trailer Park Boys!), Marble Slab ice-cream, then Starbucks. The deliciously funny evening helped to abate my mind and the "celebration evening" was greatly welcomed.

More on it all later. I have two boys that need breakfast now! : )

Just telling stories, Mama.

It's embarrassing to say, but we have been working with Natty for months and months now that pooping in the tub in neither appropriate nor acceptable. I'm not sure what it is for him that is so enjoyable about it (perhaps the same sensation/ease that pregnant women feel when they opt to give birth in the water?) but we can't seem to impress on him enough that it is not the proper choice that he is making. It's been quite a few baths since this has happened last, and I had almost clear forgotten about this dirty little habit of his.

Here's where I'm not winning any super-mom awards: while Natty has his play time in the bath, I sit around the corner on the computer eagerly drinking up any computer time that is afforded to me! I frantically visit page after page, rapidly fire off emails, visit all the blogs, do our finances... whatever I can do in my little window. I realize that I should be present in the bathroom at all times with such a little person in the tub (and, please note, I never leave Isaac's side if he's in the tub!); but I know Natty is more than capable; I am told repeatedly by him, "No thank you Mama!" for me to leave; and although my eyes are focused on the screen, my ears are glued to the tub for any unusual noises or activities.

Here's where experience comes in. I know the noises of a boy that is getting ready to, or is in the midst of pooping in the tub. He's not very sly about it. If his toots and grunts don't give him away in enough time to save the situation, then his incriminating descriptive dialogue and play-by-play of his pooping does. Sadly, even though I know the method to his seeming madness (or rather, to my impending madness), I never seem to nip it in the butt (pun intended) early enough. I'll give that much to him.

But tonight he got me hook line and sinker. I was happily reading away an extraordinarily juicy blog and comment page, fully enjoying myself and thinking how well it was going for me: good friends to laugh about/with, time on the computer, one boy bathed and down to bed and the other playing so nicely; it bit me in the ass. Natty had been playing out and telling a cute little story in the tub with his toys and I was proudly thinking of how ingenious he was to come up with his ideas. Then the word poop entered his story and I flew into the bathroom frantically searching the tub with my eyes for the dreaded floating...er... pieces. Not one there! Had we crossed a bridge here? Had I got there in time? Had I one more item to add to my "look-how-well-my-life-is-going-right-now" pile? I asked him so nicely if he had to go poo--did he want to get out and try, since it wasn't acceptable to go in the tub--or was he just telling stories. "Oh, I'm just telling stories, Mama." Phew! As I turned to leave I saw the crime. Between the curtains, sitting so comfortably together in a cup were three fair-sized brown lumps. My resourceful little boy had corralled the offenders himself. The problem was, I didn't know how long he had been boy-handling them and using them as props in his story. Needless to say, as equally amused, disgusted and angered as I was, I ended his story right then and there, amidst many tears of complaint. But, secretly, I was so impressed he captured them all and had set them apart, or consecrated them, if you will. Now if I could only teach him how to clean out the tub with the cleaner.

waiting on pins and needles

Quick update here on the housing front:

1) Looks like the little Edmonton home should be ours. : ) We removed the inspection condition last night and have until Friday to remove the financing condition which shouldn't be a problem (as our lender has told us). So, my mind is very, very busy mentally moving furniture around in all the rooms and getting it set up "just right." : ) I am just giddy with excitement!! Possession will be firmed up on Friday after we lift our condition, but it can be as early as Nov. 1st. I believe Dan is going in then and will be doing some of the required work for upgrades (i.e. redoing the bathroom!) and we will follow when that is complete. I have suggested to Dan to enlist our good friend Sean (from previous posted fame) to help out there to expedite the whole process... and maybe also install a new dishwasher... and here's shooting for the stars: an additional 2-pc bathroom downstairs? I know, I know, I'm thinking high. A gal's got to hope, right?

2) Our home is still conditionally sold, with both conditions (inspection and financing) to be lifted this Friday as well. I am SUPER nervous about that. I realize all should be ok, but these things fall through all the time, and considering our luck thus far in the real-estate market, I'm a full-blown pessimist. The lady who's going to buy this place has opted to just look at our home inspection that we had done four years ago, which we happily provided with lots of sticky notes all through bringing all our repairs and upgrades up to date along-side the original inspection notes. I'm not sure if that will satisfy her alone, but it's a pretty positive report. Here's hoping it's that easy.

So, Friday at 8:59pm we should definitively know about both places. And a sound sleep should hopefully follow! And then it's only a matter of time until we're finally all together as a family again!! The countdown could start... (cue "it's the final countdown" music here).